About Sophie

I'm Sophie.
& Welcome to my blog, :)

I'm an eldest of 3 sisters,which means I have to act like the responsible one setting of a good example or something like that anyway. If you haven't of guessed I really don't like talking about myself. But I'll give it a go.

I have bipolar type 2 and I was diagnosed in 2008 just after a traumatic life event from a ex boyfriend. My life hasn't been the same since then. I sometimes look back and wonder if I did things differently maybe things wouldn't be how are they are now? But, I'm not one to dwell on the past. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if it wasn't a good thing, I find that sometimes you learn the hard way going through the worse stuff first.

I started primary school at Hayes Road, in Paignton. Where I made lots of friends it was a lovely childhood, having such good friends living seconds away from me. I would always stay out playing games with them or sharing the odd bath with Jess. >.< I then went to Secondary school at Paignton Community College, which I thought would be the only second school I was going to be at. But my parent's had other ideas. I left that college in 2002, it was not good. I wasn't able to say goodbye to my friends I had made since primary school or anything. I then joined Knowles Hill School in 2002 not long after leaving Paignton. I remember the first day and I got bullied for having curly hair and big eyebrows. I hated school, absolutely hated it with a passion. I didn't make friends very quickly, at all. It was horrible. I spent most of the time skipping lessons, taking spare sets of clothing and hiding out in the town toilets or getting on a train and going to Dawlish. I absolutely hated the school. In 2003, I then started to make some friends, which was nice, I then stopped skipping lesson and focus on school work. Not long after I moved out of my family home where my three sisters stayed and then moved in with my grandma.

I lived with my Grandma from the age of 14 (For own reasons) and she helped me become the person I am today, I passed my GCSE'S with A/B/C/D's etc. I loved living with my grandma. After getting the bus from Newton Abbot to Torquay after school each day, I would go to my grandmas business - see the friendly staff and wait for my grandma to finish work. Computers never interested me, after failing ICT as a GCSE, it all of a sudden got intriguing. My grandma took me on as a Saturday junior, where she trained me to use all Microsoft programs, how to file properly and she even taught me how to use the system Attila ' which is a non Microsoft program which stored all peoples personal information such as addresses and outstanding payments. The company my grandma ran was a debt collection for unpaid council tax, non domestic rates, unpaid housing benefit and PCNS (parking fines). I enjoyed the company and the staff, it was interesting to learn about the magers law and bailiffs. I know when people mention Bailiffs they think OH MY GOD, they remove peoples goods and are violent etc. But they really are not. I then joined the company full time after I finished school, did my NVQ level 1 & 2 in business studies and learnt a lot about customer service and time management. I also did a typing test and audio typing, 80wpm I think is quite impressive. Grandma was then diagnosed in 2008 on christmas eve with cancer. I remember that day as if it was only yesterday. My mother was driving me home from work and we were listening to Leona Lewis - Footprints in the sand. I knew something was wrong, but I tried to put on such a brave face for when she told me. I remember walking into the house and everyone was sat there, uncle steve, aunty deb, and one of the bailiffs were just leaving. It was the second worst day of my life. I was not only losing my grandma, but my best friend.

Me and my grandma had a hobbie, which isn't quite popular as I thought. "Letterboxing" We'd take the dog each Sunday and walk for miles. It was fab, kept me fit and it was nice to get out and be active for the day. After she was diagnosed we didn't continue the hobbie for obvious reasons. I spent a lot of time with grandma in the hospital and the hospice throughout her chemo. I try not to think of it sometimes because it still hurts. Seeing how much pain she was in. It was horrible but I coped with it. My grandma's mother came down to keep me company in the house which was nice while it lasted. Things started getting worse for my grandma and we were told to prepare for the worst. I couldn't cope with it at all so I turned to alcohol. Some of my friends who were there for me back then were incredibly supportive, Carl, Alex (Blue eyes) and Sarah. I remember Carl and Collette picking me up one night and taking me out on the town to let my hair down, it was nice but I still couldn't shut off. The last time I saw my grandma, she told me never let anyone walk over me, and to trust my heart because the head doesn't always know'.

I remember the day she passed very clear, I was stood inside my Uncles house with the kids and as soon as the family started walking down the driveway I knew she'd passed. I was lost, I didn't know what to do. I remember calling my friends and stood outside my grandmas house holding a loaf of bread (god knows why) but I was. If I had known that would be the last time I was going to see my grandma I would of spent more time with her. :(

The night she passed is the first day I met Oscar's daddy, who without getting into anything, broke my heart. I don't like talking about him as it's still a sore subject. So I'll leave it at that.

I've loved, I've lost, I've hurt, I've missed and I've moved on. I don't have the same friend circle I had five years ago, for good reasons. I've had my fair share of heart break and it's something I try to avoid now. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve and let my guard down too much, which led me being hurt too easily. But, as someone once described. "You have to be guarded". Which now I am, I am understanding more, within the people I attract, the people that cling on to "positive energy" - they think because I'm on a high, they can stick to me like glue and drain all that's good in my life, well sorry sunshine, you can not.

I like keeping myself busy, reading, writing, drawing, singing, dancing or running around after my son. I keep myself fit, I'm currently dieting with Juice-plus, which is absolutely fantastic, I've been on it now since beginning of January and have already lost 2 stone, I can't wait to see the results soon! I keep fit, I do Gillian Michael's 30 day shred, in combination with a 10 minute zumba dance fit DVD, I find that getting lost in music and dancing is one coping mechanism I have stuck with for years now.

My music taste varies day in day out, but I pretty much listen to anything that has a beat. Pink Floyd, ZZ Top and Seasick Steve are 3 favourite artists of mine who I listen to day in day out. It puts me in my "happy Sophie land"

So you've got this far and your not bored yet, high five for you..! Continuing..

My real dad is Welsh Italian, and from a town in Newport called "Bassaleg". I moved to Devon when I was little and since then I have always been moving around the place. I left Devon in 2011 - It was the best choice I have made to date. Now I have my "home" in Cheltenham, Midlands. Me and my gorgeous son, Oscar now have a house we can call our own. I love it, everyday I try and add my own touch to it. For the moment, it's full of my Mother's own artwork, which is really nice to have here. I won't be happy when some of them are sold and it goes back to being bare walls again. =/

Hey, want to know something random? I've never been abroad! Yep, I said it. I have a passport but have NEVER been out of the country. I know Wales counts as out of the country for some of you folk that live there etc.. I NEED A HOLIDAY! >.<

 I miss my friends that are still in the Shire, but I visit them often enough! Sometimes they come and visit me and stay up here for the weekend, which is great. Since being I've been living in Cheltenham, I have found it incredibly difficult to make new friends. I am the sort of person who struggles to get to know someone in person, it depends on my mood on the day - if I'm on top form then I'll have no problem, but sometimes if I'm not having a good day it can get very uncomfortable for me.

I make reckless choices when I'm not in my good place, I have a tendency to overspend, I have an addiction with money and buying crap I don't even need. I should really write a page on my triggers, I think that would shock some of you..

Anyway, I think I've said enough.